Things here are very very hard. I'm constantly hit by these panic attacks feelings and I still really can't get my head around the idea that Kay has gone. I know it, but my heart and my hopes have yet to accept the reality. I just want to wake up from this nightmare but it goes on and on.
We have pleasant interludes, yesterday evening drinking too much wine with friends for one. But the moment that everyone had gone and we were on our own again both Lauren and then Marion were in tears and I was hanging on by a thread so that I could comfort them.
I wonder how long it will be before a day passes by when I don't feel the electric pain of immediate grief?
Dear Rob, I whish (like many others) that I could give you an answer, But I can't... Maybe you can hold on (just a little) to the fact that some day this time will come. I know that you are strong enough to find a way to get there. Thinking about you and Marion every hour of the day. xx Bettine
ReplyDeleteLast night I accidently gate-crashed your 'drinking too much wine'. It was so good to hear a little bit of 'normal life' and I wondered later how you were all managing.
ReplyDeleteNo matter wether we are with you sharing the wine - with you at the end of the phone - or with you in thought many miles away - there are many, many friends with you at any time. All wishing we could bear a little of the 'electric pain' for you.
Hang in there Rob, Marion, Lauren and Nattie. Always with you.
With love
Linda and Em xx
I too gate crashed the party although I invited the bottle of Baileys to mine. Kay was such a big personality that she will leave a large gaping hole that will take some time to heal. The scar will always be there but there will be a time when you will be able to remember her without the pain hitting you like a sledge hammer. If only we could relieve you of some of the pain until that time comes.
ReplyDeleteSharon x
Dear Rob, I have been in a spin since last weekend. It's not been healthy to be so far away. I'm still with you every second. I keep wondering if you could escape this Christmas and come to the sunshine. I don't want you there in the grey and the cold. I wish you could come here and find healing in big blue skies, stunning jade oceans, and red red desert. We could plan some epic distractions. I'm sure it would lift the girls spirits at a time when it will be extremely difficult. Please think about it. Love Ali xxx
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing those pictures from Kay's camera. I love the ones of her and her sisters making faces and just 'being kids.' Since I never had the honor of meeting Kay, I only know her throught the images and experiences of her that you've shared. What stays in my mind are the wonderful videos of Kay dancing in her hospital room, along with all the episodes of House you watched with her and Marion digging through hospital laundry in search of Mickey. Kay was so lucky to have such a loving family.
ReplyDeleteI wish I could send you a fast forward button to get through this time.