Natasha

I think that we're very fortunate with Natasha. She has always been a self contained child, able to play on her own for long periods. She has a very active imagination, which also keeps her very busy. I was very concerned that when we came here she would be lost in some way without Kay, her life long playmate.

But my worries have so far not been founded. She's constantly busy with something. She is either reading (Kay's backlog of Donald Duck comics), playing on my iPad or on the PC. She has been in the pool for quite long periods almost everyday. She & I have been doing maths exercises on the iPad and I have to say that the child has a mind like a calculator, she's occasionallly faster than me with division and getting faster all the time.

Her active imagination has led her to design a complete entertainment complex that when she gets older she intends to build. This complex started with a shop, "Nattie Fashion", and got extended to a resturant, fun park and geld-pakhuis (money warehouse). She's got all the details worked out and is working on drawing a site plan. She's even promised that Marion & I will be able to visit for a discounted rate - not free mind you.

But all this is not to say that she doesn't miss Kay. I configured a new account for her on the PC here and the first thing that she did was access Flickr and download a photo of Kay and set it as her screen background and login icon (I didn't even know that she knew how to do this!). She talks about Kay in quite a normal way, more normal than I can manage at least. She was extremely pleased when I hung a photo of Kay above her bed here. Once, before we came away, Marion told me that she found Nattie cuddling her huge teddy bear and when Marion asked, she said that she was missing Kay.

She's also able to comfort Marion & I in indirect ways. We don't confront her with our tears, but she knows that we're upset every now and again and, in her own way, she'll come a give one of us a cuddle. Last night the three of us curled up on the sofa here in front of one of Marion's favourite films, Notting Hill. It was lovely, Marion snuggled up on my left, Nattie lying on my chest to the right. Both Nattie & I feel asleep during the film, Nattie was well gone. It was so very nice to feel her body pressed against me, warm, deeply asleep, the smell of her hair. Something that I did with Kay so very many times during the last year.

I think that of all of us, Nattie has the most balanced atttitude so far. She knows that Kay is gone and seems to accept it. She is able to talk about Kay and refer to memories of her. But her life goes on and she's filling it in perfectly without her big sister and playmate.

I only wish Lauren, Marion & I were doing quite so well.