I had plans to write all sorts of things on the blog today. But both Marion and I are having a very bad day, we're both either on the edge of tears or in tears. We're being confronted with memories and discovering that we're not really up to them. I'd ordered a bunch of photos of Kay/the girls to hang up here. We bought some frames for them today and this afternoon i started matching photos to frames to wall spaces, with Marion's help. But we're not strong enough, the pain of looking at these beautiful photos is just too much.
I'm also concerned that I'm just going to start repeating myself on the blog. My thoughts are going round and round, revisiting the same themes over and over and it all aims to be getting worse and worse.
That's enough for now.
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Rob, het is helemaal niet erg als je in herhaling valt. Nu weten wij tenminste hoe het met je gaat en kun jij je gedachten van je af schrijven. Wat fijn dat jullie het huis vol foto's hangen! Maar ik snap ook dat het confronterend is. Ik hoop dat jullie toch wat rust kunnen vinden en dat Natasha jullie pijn een beetje wegneemt. Veel liefs,
ReplyDeleteJudith
Looking at the photos and trying to put them up is too much for you and Marion right now. It is just a another hard reminder that Kay is not physically there, but at the same time she is all around you. Kay will never really leave you, she is as close as your heart.
ReplyDeleteAs for repeating yourself, you haven't but if you do, no one will mind. If you feel the need to get your thoughts out here, please do.
Comfort & peace,
Debbie
I found something, there is a hedera (klimop) named "Lady Kay".
ReplyDeleteHang in there.
Lfs Bettine
Oh dear, I'm so sorry its so awful for both of you. Please don't worry about repeats - not an issue - I've been saying the same thing over and over again on here - for months. Wish there was something more useful to say.
ReplyDeleteYour photos are so lovely - one day you will smile when you look at them and the pain will be a little less intense.
Has Joost gone back now? How long are you planning to stay?
As ever Rob, big hugs all round and masses of love to everyone.
Linda xx
Well, I bet I can speak for everyone that we don't care if you repeat yourself. You're not here to entertain us, so please never worry about that. if I may get clinical for just a sec, part of the work of grief is to repeat and repeat and repeat how one is feeling. It's normal and actually therapeutic and can go on for what feels like forever. You mentioned the other day how helpful you find it to be able to pour your thoughts out on the blog and I hope you'll continue to do so as long as you need and want to. We may not always know what to say, but we're here. hugs,
ReplyDeleteDiane
Dear Rob,
ReplyDeleteDon't be afraid of repeating yourself. If this is you how need to deal with your emotions; you wouldn't be the first one. BTW, very nice photos of Natasha; also the one where you and Natasha were trying to ride a wave. I guess you know what I'm saying here.
Leon&Angelines
Well said Diane!
ReplyDeleteHere's hoping Wednesday brings a little bit of peace. Thinking of you all, all the time.
Hugs and love
Linda xx