My silence this week comes not from a lack of desire to blog but from the fact that it's been a very hard week, one of the hardest so far. I'm now too tired to explain, I'll try and do that tomorrow. For now I just want to try to sleep decently and get some rest. I feel frayed, battered and emotionally beaten.
And I miss Kay so terribly, terribly much that I can't believe that a mind can feel such pain and remain functional. The intensity of her absence is greater than any emotion I can ever remember feeling. It's like a black hole that is sucking the colour out of life, that is distorting all the emotional space around it such that the terrain of my feelings is no longer recognisable. A black hole that is inevitably drawing everything in, that is becoming the centre of my life, the centre of my emotions, theme of my future, the force majeure from which there is no escape.
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This is going to be a rough month to get through. You have a wonderful family and a very supportive friendship group around you but unfortunately, despite how much we care and try to, we can not stop the pain. I only hope in time it gets a little easier for you.
ReplyDeleteWish we lived nearer, wish I could give you a big hug.
Sharon x
Rob... we're here when the 'rest of the world' is in bed. So just know that there are 'teams' of people around the world thinking of the Rob Howe clan every hour of your day and night. If we could hoover up that pain and share it amongst us we would. The biggest Aussie hugs to you all. Dom n Ali
ReplyDeleteRob, do you remember when you were out cycling, Kay said she could not get through to Mama because she was too sad ? Love Mum.
ReplyDeleteHi Rob, my heart is with you, Marion and Nattie and if everyone who is thinking of you, could take away à bit of your pain, that would help à lot. You are not alone. Ciel
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