We had various plans for this evening. A drinks party, then Marion to her cooking club and Nattie & I to a firework display. But Nattie is ill, running a fever. So Marion went cooking and Nattie & stayed at home. Neither of us felt like doing much, Nat didn't feel like eating anything and I didn't know what I wanted to eat. So I made an omelette, whoopee.
And that summarises our evening. I'm now struggling with the onset of a wave of grief, which isn't helped by being alone. I don't want to go to bed. Actually, I'm rather scared of going to bed. So I'll carry on messing around down here till Marion gets home, whenever that will be.
As a piece of background, two weeks ago I was diagnosed with skin cancer, a piece of news that was emotionally devastating at the time. Yesterday I got the result of a biopsy. Good news, it's the most mild form of skin cancer and it will be treated in a few weeks time by "light therapy". I suppose that I should be happy about that, but I can't bring up much enthusiasm to be happy about the absence of a negative. The last time that we were doing such things was during Kay's last days when anything that wasn't bad news was good news.
This house is way too empty these days.
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On my Christmas tree are many baubles, from afar they look the same, shiny jewels all colourful and glistening. Only some of us know which ones are made from glass, that are fragile and need the special care at the end of the festivities. That is what I want to do with you and Marion at the moment. I want to wrap you in the cotton wool, the bubble wrap and keep you safe from harms way until you are both ready to come out and shine and take your place amongst the jewels in this world with Kay, as the star she is, shining over you.
ReplyDeleteSharon x
Get well soon Nattie! :) x
ReplyDeleteShe's a lot better this morning. Wants to go and see Narnia this afternoon.
ReplyDeleteWant to let you know I am following this but I find it impossible to put down adequate words which refect your trials.
ReplyDeleteDavid
He Rob,
ReplyDeleteLees nu je verhaal. Wat schrik ik daar weer van. Maar ja, dat zal jullie leven ook weer even op zijn kop zetten. Brings back bad memories. Hang in there!
Liefs,
Natascha