Saturday 11 December 2010

Kanjer Ketting

I have just plucked up the courage to do a job that I've been meaning to do for a while: photograph Kay's bedroom, in detail. This has been a heart rending task and I've had to lose myself in the photography rather than the meaning. This is the bedroom of a child who is not finished with life. Full of stuff being done and things still to do. And memories.

The centre peice of her bedroom is her "Kanjer Ketting" (KK to save me typing). "Kanjer" means a tough, strong person and "Ketting" is a bead necklace. Here's a photo of her ketting:



The KK is effectively a record of Kay's complete treatment from October last year until her death. Every bead represents a different treatment or procedure, from having to swallow an NG tube, through a blood transfusion, through radiotherapy to her actual bone marrow transplant and beyond. Marion cleverly added the week numbers as well, so the KK represents an accurate picture of Kay's complete treatment.

As you can see, there are hundreds of beads of many different types. The KK is metres long when stretched out. One day maybe I'll get around to documenting them all, but that's way too difficult for me to face now. Apparently, the cost of running the KK program for all the oncology kids is around EUR 40,000 per year. But we have always thought that it was worth every single cent. Kay was always very keen to get the bead for any treatment or procedure and was especially excited to get rare beads. In fact, one of the Physiotherapists made a special bead for Kay, so there are one or two that are completely unique.

You cannot imagine what the KK is now worth to Marion & I. Marion carried it like this, mounted on the cushion so, at Kay's memorial service. We are thinking of having it encased in glass or resin to preserve it for all time. It truly shows what an incredible Kanjer Kay remains.



Another small thing that struck me was all the various medals and Kay got for different sports and activities: tennis, riding, hockey, walking, etc. She always loved to win, was determined to win and was never happier than when she came home with a medal of some kind.

Now I'm starting to feel the grief rising so I'd better go and do something else. At least we now have a permanent record of Kay's own place.

7 comments:

  1. The KK is beautiful beyond words.

    A life unfinished on earth, forever in eternity. You will be with Kay again someday, just as I will be with Chip. If I did not believe this, I would have no hope.

    Have hope my friend.
    Debbie

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  2. Dear Rob & Marion,
    Thank you for posting the picture of the Kanja Ketting. We have heard a lot about it from your Mum & Dad so it is nice to see the actual article. Thank you for your blog. I think you are doing well,you have to give yourself plenty of time to grieve, don't be in a hurry and if you feel like crying please do so. It will do you no good keeping it all in.
    We hope you all have a good Christmas with the family,I'm sure Lauren, Nattie, Charlotte & Sophie will help you through.
    Good news about your skin cancer,at least that is something really positive.
    Take of yourselves, there are a lot of people here in Bramhall who think about your immediate family everyday.
    God Bless,
    Anne & Robin Gardner.

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  3. Very Native American if I'm not mistaken? Their headress or chest piece (worn like armour), told the story of their family and their honours in battle. I think modern military colours and medals owe a lot to this practice of story telling at a glance. We are all so sad, but proud of the Rob Howe family story. Kay, Nattie, Lauren, Marion and you are all heroes. The greatest courage is demonstrated in the quietest ways. Big hug to Nattie from Auntie Ali. We will say hello to the koalas for you Nattie when we go to Taronga Zoo tomorrow. :) x

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  4. Our hospital, Seattle Children's, just started doing beads for treatment as well. Infact, I just wrote a blog post about it. I never thought of it as a way to remember, as well.
    You sound like such a loving family. I have wondered if I would keep blogging if our path goes this way. I am so glad you do.

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  5. Wow. the KK is extraordinary in a dozen different ways. Just wow. I'm so glad you shared this.

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  6. Wat een prachtige en waardevolle ketting. Toen ik de foto zag, moest ik even slikken. De lengte...het aantal verschillende kraaltjes. Tjonge wat zegt die ketting veel.
    lfs Bettine

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  7. It's a beautiful thing - with so much meaning. I hope it brings you a lot of comfort over the years.
    Take care - don't push yourself to do the photographs if you are not ready.
    Love and hugs
    Linda xx

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