Proof of the Nonexistance of God?

I've had a terrible day. The details are not relevant, but suffice it to say that shit seems to be piling up on top of shit. That Kay's situation is so bad I would have thought it should be enough trouble for any mortal soul. But I seem to be being targetted by some kind of black hole of misery. Independently of each other, two other problems have arisen. The synchronicity is absolutely unbelievable, I simply cannot get my head around the idea that so many things can go wrong at the same time.

I'd thought for sometime now that Kay's illness is evidence of the mindlessness of the universe. There's no logic to it, there's no rhyme or reason, there's just bad luck. Like most things that happen to people, this is just the expression of statistics. People get cancer, kids get cancer, some of them get leukemia, some of them get cured, some of them relapse, some of those that relapse get cured and some don't. A few end up in comas in intensive care. It's just statistics at work, no master plan, no creator fooling with our lives. There's no lesson in it except that shit happens, in reality as well as statistically.

But the events of today have begun to stretch this explanation. In Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams introduced the Babelfish - a creature that once introduced into your ear would translate any spoken language directly into brainwaves, thereby allowing you to understand anything spoken to you in any language. It was argued that the existance of the Babelfish was evidence of the nonexistance of God. The reasoning went like this: "I refuse to prove that I exist", says God, "Because proof denies faith and without faith I am nothing". "Ah", says Man, "The Babelfish actually proves that you exist and therefore, by your own reasoning, you don't. QED".

The combination of recent events seems to me to be so bizarre, so fringe, so statistically unlikely and so personally targetted that either I'm a statistical freek or that I'm getting some very personal and unpleasant attention by some divinity. Perhaps in the future they'll open an anti-Lourdres in my name - come and visit and have your life turned to shit, your good health reversed. In fact, I'm starting to think that the Babelfish argument applies: I'm so blatently being "Job-ed" that this can only be evidence for the non-existance of God.

The thing is, I'm not going to give up. It's not worthing giving up. We've come so damn far, we've been through so much, we're never going to quit because that would be too easy, the cowards way out.

So, do your worst, you divine bastard. If this is how you treat people, if this is how your expect us to live our lives, then I don't want to know you. You're not fit to be a God. And by revealing your hand in this way, you vanish in a puff of logic anyway.

Who stands for my Kay? Who takes her side? Who biases the roll of the dice in her favour? That's someone I'd like to meet, some being with compassion, some being who looks at my daughter and values her strength, her fight, her determination. So far it's only been people who have stood for Kay. The medics, our friends and family, strangers with compassion.

If we can be tortured like this, what counter balances that out? And why isn't the counter balance working? Hey, counter balance, I'd trade everything else that's up in the air for Kay's health, do you hear me?

Or does it come down to Occam's Razor: is it statistics and that we're merely extremely unlikely victims of circumstance?

Kay. Darling. Come back.