As far as is possible, we seem to have got ourselves organized w.r.t. to facing Kay's birthday. We have been keeping ourselves busy, planning an activity everyday. Nattie & Lauren were very keen on the idea of learning to windsurf, so we have spent some time doing that and will continue to do so. We have also been Hobie sailing, which they also loved. So there's more of that on the agenda.
I'm absolutely convinced that Kay wants her family to be together, to be happy, to be doing something, to laugh and to think of her. She's with us, I'm sure, just hovering in the wings of everything we do, wanting us, willing us, helping us to be together and to be happy. But even with this thought, this idea, this message in my head it is extraordinarily difficult to maintain an even keel.
There are good things that are antidotes to everything else. Nattie has laughter in her eyes. She's always chatting and laughing about something. She's naturally a happy bunny. Lauren is more of a dower teenager. But having said that she has a cutting, cynical and twisted sense of humour: a natural Howe, in other words. Together they are a joy, the only joy that there is in fact. I think that Marion and I will be sponging joy from them during the coming days.
We witnessed from close by and extremely nasty road accident this morning. It happened literally under our noses when we were driving out from the local bakers shop. A car turning into the baker's car park was hit from behind by a motorcyclist who seemed not to have seen the car. I saw the motorcycle hit the car and the motorcyclist fly through the air, right in front of me. This moment is now engraved on my mind.
When I got home I called my parents to chat and to vent some of my shock and we ended up in a "guess what's happened to whom?" conversation. It's amazing how we seem to be surrounded by people living tragedies of one sort or another. I know a guy who was very recently diagnosed with throat cancer, young, divorced, two kids depending on him, 15% survival chance. Another guy, very young, talented, world before him, diagnosed with ALS and a life expectancy of three years. And there's plenty more to relate. Our tragedy is not the only tragedy in this world, in fact there seem to be vastly too many of them these days.
I'm still sure that on my flight back from India in October 2009, the aircraft flew through a gap in the space/time continuum and I ended up in a parallel dimension, a much nastier world. In fact very much like the protagonist in Robert Heinlein's wonderful book, "Job: A Comedy of Justice". In this world it seems that very many people are being "Job'd", challenged to the limit of their capacity, if not down right tortured, by "fate". But in this world we also have the other end of the scale, the macro disasters and macro stupidities that seem to surround us. Famine in Sudan, Mass killings in Norway, Nuclear and Tectonic catastrophe in Japan, Economic disaster in Greece and potentially Spain, Portugal and Italy, and rank Economic Stupidity in the US.
What is the world coming to? Where has the joy of living gone? Or is the world just the same and it's merely my perception, coloured by the "wonder' of world-wide 24 hour news coverage? Ultimately I don't know. Probably it's the same world and it's just my perception of it that has been twisted. But it really doesn't seem like it, it seems like a down right nastier, joyless place to live.
Various friends have told us that they will be sending up a Wish Balloon on Kay's birthday. This is a wonderful thing. The idea that around the world the odd candle will fly into the sky in remembrance of Kay is inspiring. We would love to know.
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I believe that the increase in communication technology means we are all far more aware of every tragedy and the minutiae of the details in a way that was impossible even 20 years ago.
ReplyDeleteIt seems to me that each tragedy is extremely personal, but tragedies have been happening for ever. But the difference is there was nothing to make us understand the enormity of impact on the families and friends involved before communication technology allowed everyone an insight into everyone else's world.
In some cases coms technology is very good news - it means that you have a network of supporters here, who would otherwise have corresponded by occasional postcard. But in many cases, the fact that we are told exactly how the victims feel, means we live in a world that is in danger of becoming depressed and exceedingly anxious.
I am truly sorry you witnessed the accident this morning - a horrible, horrible experience (you remember something similar on the way to see Genesis at the Apollo? It’s still etched in my mind). It seems utterly unfair that it had to happen when you were there – of all people, right now.
I have no doubt that Kay wants you all to enjoy her birthday. I’ve also no doubt at all that she is with you and looking forward to seeing you all enjoying yourselves
Rob, the things you do and say are amazing! Keep going Honey, as you all come to this next enormous hurdle.
Much love to Marion and the girls and many hugs
Linda xx