Sunday 6 March 2011

Everywhere and nowhere

Kay is everywhere and nowhere at all. Sitting on the ski-lift I can recall her snuggling up against me. On the slope I can remember helping her, directing her., watching her do so well. At the restaurant I can hear her laughing. Nattie tells me about the time Kay dropped her ski pole, is wearing Kay's ski helmet. Kay is everywhere and nowhere at all. I feel constantly sick with grief and memories.

Oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why?

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4 comments:

  1. Dominic Chan6 March 2011 at 20:42

    A great phot of the girls. Nattie has a wonderful quizzical look on her face.

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  2. Debbie Hearne7 March 2011 at 12:45

    My heart hurts for you as I really understand that phrase.....Everywhere and no Where. You yearn to touch your child so badly that the pain is unbearable. My son would have turned 31 on February 15. Yes, he did grow to be an adult, but in my mind he was that sweet baby that I held in my arms. I want to hear his laughter, hear him say "Hey Mom." I wanted to protect him and keep him from pain. As a parent you think you should be able to do so and that is where the guilt comes in. But Rob, we did all that we could possibly do to keep our children happy, healthy and alive. It was out of our control. We have to believe that God had a plan. We have to have faith that we will see our children again. We have to.

    Your friend,
    Debbie

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  3. Anonymous7 March 2011 at 16:20

    Oh Rob,
    Hang in there Honey.
    Thinking of you all.
    Much love, many hugs
    Linda xxx

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  4. Anonymous7 March 2011 at 19:44

    There are no answers Rob and each time you do something for the first time without Kay is going to hurt like crazy. It is still such a short time since we said goodbye to Kay although for you the days are long and hard. A hug for you all.
    Sharon x

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